Stepping Out in Vegas
Coming Out as a Transgender Woman (the world knew I was a chess nerd)
The Las Vegas International Chess Festival was an incredible success from all perspectives. Right before the festival began, I got a message from the talented organizer Glenn Panner; he invited me to speak on the streamer/podcaster panel! My friend / co-host Elaynah and I had just recently started the Chess Lounge Podcast jumping right in and recording 5 episodes. And, here I was being invited to sit next to some serious creators. I will write a full article about this event alone so definitely look out for that shortly!
This post will be mainly about the coming out process and introducing my chosen transgender name “Summer Dylan”. But, first I want to update everyone on the actual games I played. I played 6 classical games with maximally disappointing results, four draws, one bye and two losses which gives an abysmal 2.5/7 in the Under 2300 section. Considering I played way down in all of the games, it is really tough psychologically but there is plenty to learn from the games. I haven’t won a classical game in over 20 games so I clearly need to get the psychological in order as 40-50% of those I have blown positions that I would win in the past.
Back to the positive! Coming out as transgender in a community where people have known you for years can be incredibly difficult. It's especially challenging for people to understand why you would want to change gender. That is where the true misunderstanding lies as when you are transgender, male to female (MtF) like I am, you have always felt like the opposite gender. The clothing that you saw me in before, was a mere costume. I had originally come out as transgender when I was about 20 but the support network was not there. But, now I am 38 with a great network so I think it's the right time to just step out and be the trans woman I want to be!
But, here is the real tough part of being a chess professional and undergoing this process. The challenge of transitioning MtF in a community with deep ingrained sexism makes everything much harder. To be clear, the organizers and staff at the Las Vegas International Chess Festival were incredibly supportive and understanding. I felt so special and didn't have to overly explain my situation. The same is true for 95% of the competitors and friends I have in the community. I have felt more than special which has produced a lot of gender euphoria. This is the opposite of how I feel when people call me a man. I tried for so long to be comfortable with my birth sex but I realized recently that being called he, him, bro, etc. is like getting thousands of paper cuts. At first you can take it, but over time it really feels like torture.
I am uniquely well adjusted to this type of big life change because I'm an actor and I love the costumes I wear. They make me feel and act slightly differently. It might be why you saw me as masculine before. But, the truth is that I believe that our beautifully diverse community needs advocates for LGBTQ+ people. Maybe, I have some guilt from my teenage years when I was a Christian apologist and want to pay back all of those people that told me that I could be who I wanted to be. But, the chess world is especially lacking in advocates for all LGBTQ+ people so I am dedicated to give a voice to them on whatever platform I have.
One of the most amazing parts of the Festival was meeting the Chess Sharkz made up of Grandmaster Kayden Troff and Reality TV Star Tony Padron. I had played quite a few tournaments in Los Angeles alongside Kayden when he came up. And, Tony really impressed me with his gregarious attitude and just general joy for chess. These guys were absolutely the best throughout the event. We were cracking jokes left and right with some of our dinners out with the whole group ending up like episodes in Curb Your Enthusiasm.
At the end of the day, it was an incredible experience to reveal my true self to the community that I love very much! Chess has given me great purpose in life and I wouldn’t trade this career for anything. I am glad that I can get out there and continue my advocacy for women in chess and be a role model for the LGBTQ+ community. I believe that at the end of the day, chess is about the people that inhabit it and we all deserve to be loved. I want to mention my former editor, mentor and friend WGM Jennifer Shahade whose strength through the chess me too movement inspired me to find my own strength. I promise to her and all that I will continue to fight for equity for women in chess despite the uphill battle that it presents at home and world wide! Here’s a fun clip of the 2024 US Women’s Open:
OH! As a note to my name, I have come up with Summer Dylan! I named myself Summer when I was 20 and it has been my secret source of strength. Plus, Dylan has accomplished many things of which I am proud so I want to honor that part of myself. AND, chess players are usually called by their last name so it’s easy for the community to keep calling me Dylan if they want. I’m not sure where my journey will lead but it’s a really beautiful start.
Thank you all!
Brilliant move!